So, after posting the manifesto on running last night, I woke up this morning determined to make up the run that I missed yesterday. Without any excruciating details of my craptacular morning, I ended up at the Y around 9:45 am, fully expecting to cry during the run. The need to cry had been sitting on my chest since I yelled at my son this morning for being a douche to the cat. I was terrified the need to cry would reveal itself while I was at the chiropractor's office (luckily, it did not).
The track was a complete clustercuss today. Not only were there about 8 people already on the track when I got there (including Mr. It-Leaves-The-Lotion-In-The-Basket and two side-by-side walkers (who aren't The Mabels, but are equally as bad as The Mabels), but a Move It To Lose It class of roughly 8 women showed up about 15 minutes into my run. Two kids, possibly belonging to one of the Move It To Lose It women, also made an annoying appearance on the track. To say the track was congested would be a terrific understatement.
I immediately decided that I was going to listen to music for the run and that I wasn't going to do the planned 15-minute stair portion of the workout. Aside: I went with the Garden State Soundtrack. It's moody and I felt like if I REALLY needed to cry, that music could get me to that point. I switched to Amy Winehouse for the final 10 minutes of the run as well as my cool down laps. My body needed to run. My mind needed to not tell me that my body had to stop moving after 30 minutes. Telling my mind to shut up is ... almost impossible. I needed to run for 45 consecutive minutes, no matter what. And if I could do that, I'd allow myself to go home, bury myself under the duvet on my bed and sleep until I needed to collect my children from school.
It was far from an exquisite run, but I did it. I'm tragically slow right now -- about a 12 min mile. Compared to what I was running in the fall -- about a 10'15" mile -- 12 doesn't feel good (I'm not under the delusion that 10'15" is fast. It just feels fast now that I'm plopping around at a 12 min mile.). And it's not like it was an easy pace either -- I worked for that 12 min pace! I totally forgot to take my sports beans after my first 'dose' at the start of the run and I wasn't hydrating as well as I have in the past. When I finished, my mouth was all gummy and weird. But I ran.
About 10 minutes before I finished, the Move It Or Lose It class moved to the side of the track, stood in a semi-circle and were checking their pulses. I had to laugh. I was wondering if they get charged more if their heart rate isn't within the acceptable range. I don't really care either -- no one was checking my ticker at the end of the run. So I just kept running.
It took me 45 minutes to run 3.69 miles. And it took the first 35 minutes for me to realize that I wasn't going to cry. I didn't need to. I actually started to feel better mentally, even tho my body was screaming for me to stop.
Not bad for the first run of the year. I'll count it as a success.