So, I just chanted - for the third time this week (and in my life) - for 12 minutes. It happened after I chanted with a client on Monday and after I learned today that Russell Simmons is a lot more than the founder of Def Jam and loaded.
It's super fucking hard to do.
My intention, was to turn off the noise. Right now, the noise in my head is awesome. It's the best noise ever. But I wanted to give me a break. I've had a great week and I feel energized and inspired. I feel like a sponge that is just sucking up all the awesomeness that is out there. I am grateful. And aware.
And oh my god! I can't turn it down!!!
I downloaded Ong Namo: Tuning into your Infinite Self, by SatKirin Kaur Khalsa, yesterday after chanting it with a client earlier this week. The experience yesterday was different than when I did it with a group on Monday, but nonetheless - I made the time and I tried it. So today, I thought, I should be a pro, because it's my third time. Third time's a charm, right?
Bah! I could barely keep my eyes shut. And my brain wouldn't stop. And why can't I keep my eyes shut?
Imagine this, for 12 minutes:
russell simmons sweats when he meditates / is the cat in the closet / i hope the kids respect my request to leave me in peace for 12 minutes / will Michael's have the Lion Brand Kitchen Cotton yarn / did ken mean kimora? is russell still married to her? why did I also remember hating her? / am i allowed to hate ? / i'm glad lisa responded to my post / i really hope faith starts blogging / on the mat / off the mat / omg what if i'm crazy? is this a phase? is this what happens when you age? / this could be a good blog topic / don't think about the blog / relax / it takes russell simmons 5 minutes to get into it, so it'll take you 7 / i don't think i could be a vegan / i'd miss eggs / i'm in the wrong place / shit. i just opened my eyes and looked at the computer / it's practice it's practice stop worrying about it being right / can it be wrong? / i should have tagged manos /oh i bet manos knows blissful hOMe / should i go back and tag him? who else? who else? who am i missing? / water / what is it called again? i'd recognize the cover? why can't i remember that book? / has Husband's mom been misdiagnosed all this time? / how did i not know about nightshades? / should i look at the to-do list before we leave? / should i be less chatty about all this? / i'm crazy, i'm crazy, i'm crazy / why is he sweating? i'm not sweating / i didn't take my vitamins yet / maybe i should go to a yoga class / i can't do this by myself / do i have time to go to yoga? / i haven't been on my bike / eyes shut. eyes shut. eyes shut / if i'm going to change what i eat, it can't come from a place of 'what i have to give up' it has to come from a place of what i'll gain / wrong mindset / don't rush it / bacon
So...today's session wasn't so great. But I made time and I tried. And it is called practice. So I guess I get to try it out again tomorrow. Or tonight. Whenever.
I still feel great. And I'm just gonna keep trying.
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