Monday, April 30, 2012

In the Long Run: Mental Health

Yeah ... I'm totally shitting my pants right now.

And although me shitting my pants might seem more like a dip in my colo-rectal health, it's all mental. Trust me.

Taper run is done, and if it weren't for Husband running it with me, I wouldn't have made it more than 1.5 miles.  I felt worse four miles into that taper run than I did at the end of the 15.5 mile run last week.

I was faster last week, too.

I feel like the next 5 days are going to be an absolute terror for anyone that has to deal with me.  It's like the crazy-bitch switch is going to get flicked without any provocation, and then whoever has the misfortune of being there with me when it goes on, is fucked. I mean, they're fucked bad.

If I were you, I'd avoid me like the plague.

Husband, children, friends, chiropractor, clients and anyone providing some sort of customer service to me this week ... If the wrong Tracy shows up to any of our appointments, I apologize. She's meaner than cat shit when she feels threatened, and the 26.2 miles that demand to be run on Saturday, May 5th, are threatening the hell out of her.

I can guarantee that the week will be tough because Saturday  I got my race packet and I was so stoked with my number (Bib #949) and the shirt, that I was practically bouncing off the walls. To have a hootie-fied pin-up carrying a platter of cheese plastered on the front of the shirt seemed like some kind of sign from above that this was my race.

Yesterday,  mid-taper run, I'm pretty sure 'above' was telling me to just stick to knitting and competitive boozing.

I have to make things easy on myself this week. I need to start gathering my race day stuff and come up with a plan.

A client bought me Russell Simmons' "Super Rich."  I declined getting it this weekend, because I had a lot of work to get done, and his book would be too tempting.  This week, I'm going to spend time with Russell and a highlighter.

I'm going to put myself on a 6x/day calf stretching/water drinking routine.

I'm going to finalize my play list.

I'm going to schedule a haircut for the week after the race. I'm going to schedule a massage, too.

I'm going to listen to a lot of Talking Heads this week while I'm doing all this reading and stretching and hydrating.  "Crosseyed and Painless" will be my go-to song this week.

I'm terrified that I'm going to psyche myself out on race day and give up at mile 12.  Or that at mile 20, when the shit starts getting real, that I'm going to quit. I'm worried that what everyone keeps telling me about  adrenaline and actually having 3,000 other people running with me isn't actually  true. I'm worried it'll be hot. I'm still worried about pooping. I'm worried I didn't train hard enough. I'm worried I'll let people down.

And after that damn Leinenkugel gig, now I'm worried that Oprah* is faster than me.

Fuckin' Oprah.

You know who is way faster than Oprah? Midlife Rambler. I'd put my money on Midlife Rambler any day. What's he up to these days? He bangs out 10 miles and nearly falls asleep while doing it, he's that damn good. He's mentally stable and physically strong. And faster than Oprah. See what he's up to, here.

*I learned at the Leinenkugel shoot that Oprah** ran a marathon in 4:29:20. And now for reasons beyond my control, I'm competing against Oprah.

** Thin Oprah, from like, a decade ago.


  1. Though mentally you may feel like you are shitting your pants...I think beyond all that, a little deeper, I think you will find that strong person...who has pushed you through crappy training runs, through good training runs, through pool jogging...I think you are going to kick a!

    Taper week sucks, no doubt!

  2. I can't get inside your mind with you , and I think I might be pretty lucky this week that I don't live near you, because you sound kind of scary right now... BUT. You got this TTT. You TOTALLY got this. You ran over 21 miles already in 1 run. Your body is ready, your mind is too, or you would not have made it this far. You need a crap load of positive affirmation index cards. Stick those bitches Up EVERYWHERE. In your house, in your car, in your knitting basket, in Russell Simmons's book, on your water, on your calf stick. EVERYWHERE. Because I believe in you and I know I am not the only one. You have a WHOLE GROUP of people, an amazing family, and amazing friends who all KNOW you can do this. So just keep reminding yourself. You will kick some Oprah ass. Skinny and fat.