Sunday, April 29, 2012

Nine Things That Are Stressing Me Out

... about the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

I didn't think you'd stick with me if I put "Real Housewives of New Jersey" in the title.

I'm stressed out by....

1)  Joe Giudice's weird eye. And then the black eye. And both the weird eye and the black eye when they're together.

2)  that Wakeleilei kid's crazy white teeth.

3)  Melissa's constant need to say, "Thank you, Jesus."  I wonder if she's talking about  her gardener, not the Son of God.

4)  Joe Gorga's chronic referencing of  his cock. My guess is that it's small, orange and smells like garlic and Drakkar Noir.

5)  Theresa's man face.

6)  the asshole that told Melissa her voice was worthy of recording.

7)  Ashley.

8)  the fact that the Gorga's are having an elaborate dinner while drinking a $15 bottle of champagne.  I know it's New Jersey, but I've been there, and they do, in fact sell Veuve.

9)  that the Manzo kids + Greg aren't my besties: it'd be a constant pants-pissin' party with them- they're funny as hell.

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