Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Ryan Gosling Meme

The bobbin ruins my chances of ever sewing.

Listen, I truly don't know who the fuck Ryan Gosling is, but these "Hey Girl, " memes make me laugh so hard that a little pee comes out.  I don't know why he's so enthralled with this crafty, crafting girl, but he is, and he's every crafter's dream man.

I was doubled over in laughter last night when I pinned my way to this site, which houses a bunch of the memes.  No one in my family thought they were remotely funny, even though they've had to share living quarters with me throughout all of my 'crafting' periods.

For example:

  • They lived to tell about the "I'm-going-to-make-15-pair-of-felt-mittens-for-all-of-Daughter's-guests-for-her-birthday-party-at-the-ice-rink" month. I clearly remember chucking one cheaply made sewing machine across the dining room after the many-eth bobbin mishap.
  • They survived the "I'll-just-make-the-Batman-capes-for-all-of-Little-Guy's-friends" birthday.
  • They were moderately amused at my brief love affair with soap making and probably embarrassed that I made them give little soaps to all their teachers that year.
  • They endured the scrapbooking years, even when the sounds of my swift and sharp paper cutter would wake them from their dreamy sleep at 6 in the morning.
  • They barely scraped by the learning-to-knit months ("Don't look at mommy when she's knitting!").
  • They tolerated the great table scaping plans for Thanksgiving 2011, which involved a lot of jute, hot glue, stinky burlap and cursing.
  • They are trying to ignore my collection of wine bottles and corks which I keep assuring them will 'serve a higher purpose' beyond Mommy getting her drunk on.

All that said, why aren't they laughing with me ... or even at me ... over these ridiculous memes?

I'm not even remotely attracted to this Gosling cat, but man...I'd love it if on occasion, Husband could get stoked when I figured out a new stitch or knitting technique. Entrelec is a total mind fuck ... why can't I get some fist pumps and a congratulatory back-rub when I successfully complete 5 triangles, even if I miss a stitch and have to frog the whole thing?  Where was the love when I turned my first heel? Or when I laboriously closed up the toe of my very first sock with the Kitchener stitch?  Has he ever tried knitting a mitten with 5 toothpick sized DPNs? Can he not understand why I'm unable to focus on answering his questions or making dinner or pouring my own wine when I'm stringing scrap yarn through a gusset?

If you're a crafter, or you love a crafter, go to this site and laugh your yarn-wrapped, glittered styrofoam balls off. 

A few of my faves, for your enjoyment:

The only word Husband understands here is "sink".
Who looked up amigurumi?
That's what I'm talking about. Frogging should be hard on everyone.
It's all about respect. 


  1. 1) I don't know what a DPN is - I'm assuming it involves North Koreans, which takes crafting to a whole new level I never knew existed. (And would totally explain your wine intake.)

    2) Frogging something sounds kinky, which would explain the need for for a back rub after.

    I've got to get into crafting - it sounds badass.

  2. Crafting is bad ass. You get guns and needles.... don't fuck with a crafter, man.

  3. I crack up at these too! Some of them are so ridiculous!
    My favorite part is the "Hey Girl..." soo cheesy!

    My mom loves horses, and she found a site with Ryan Reynolds doing these "Hey Girl" memes about horse stuff.

    Funny as hell!
    You need to take your humor where you can get it!

    I am also like you...doing 10 things at once (10 is my number). I can't seem to just sit and do one thing, ever. I wish I could, really...I think it would be good for me.

  4. I am not an equestrian, and those meme's were STILL HYSTERICAL! Thanks for forwarding.

  5. I think i need a "craft project" that requires wine bottles and corks too.... Hey girl, You are almost drunk enough to make your "insert crafty wine bottle project name here" and them stumble down the stairs (because that is the level of my coordination when wine is added to the equation).